User:Daric Gaersmith/TES Fan Fiction Collection/Reading_Fan_Fiction/The Vampire's Tale

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01:09, 27 May 2014 (GMT): I'm back playing Skyrim once again. I am not in ESO, so please don't ask.


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Pa — working on Alfwyn's map of Solstheim.

Veh — Apocryphal - the language on the Diiv Word Wall.
Ged — adding a referencing stylesheet to the Cite web references.
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Or — Rewriting the proposed "guidelines" for DLC namespaces. See The Silencer's sandbox for more details.

Un — new content for the Geode Vein page.
Transparent.gif introduction  
Transparent.gif This page contains my review of The Vampire's Tale by Eric Snowmane

Introduction

Steam Workshop image[UOL 1]
As I mentioned in my comments about Biography of a Shadowscale, I haven't given much thought to what part vampirism and lycanthropy may play in my own fan fiction writings yet. In fact, I'm not really all that into the whole vampires vs werewolves thing. I'm too mature to have had any interest in the Twilight Saga. I have started playing Dawnguard, but I haven't really gotten into it that much yet. I guess, to be honest, I'm of the opinion that vampires should have remained as the impersonal monsters they were in TES I: Arena, and werewolves have no place being in this fictional world at all. It may be my age showing, but my own impression is that the whole vampires vs werewolves thing was brought into the world of the Elder Scrolls to make it more appealing to the younger generation, who at the time were be-smitten with the Twilight Saga. Sure, as I mentioned, vampires have been around in Tamriel since Arena, but they were nothing more than very powerful mudcrabs, beasts, undead monsters. To me, vampires and werewolves, as they are portrayed of late in the Elder Scrolls series, smacks of "Alternate Universe" or "crossover" writing. If TES VI or TESO include, for instance, a reference to Skynet, then everyone would be crying foul, and with good reason. Please leave your werewolves and vampires in the Twilight universe where they belong.

</rant>

The Vampire's Tale

That said, I shall now turn my attention to Eric Snowmane's fan-fiction tale, The Vampire's Tale. I wasn't even going to read this fan fic at first, as the fact that it was about vampires put me off from the start. But then I read Biography of a Shadowscale, which I thought would be about a Shadowscale, an Argonian assassin, but which turned out to be about vampires. So, I figured that it all adds to my reading experience of TES fan fiction, and I'm sure there will be more Elder Scrolls content in it than just Twilight lore.

Part One: The Vampire's Tale

If this chapter is what I can expect from the rest of the tale, then I am certainly going to enjoy it all, despite the vampires. Right from the first paragraph, the story gripped me and pulled me in, assaulting more of my senses than just my eyes reading the words. This is what I want for my own fan fiction writing — to bring the world of Tamriel alive to the reader. I have read plenty of Tolkien-related fan fiction in the past, and much of what I had read was fast-paced action, using canonical weapons and fighting canonical foes, but it didn't really do justice to the wondrous world that Tolkien created. In this fan fic, right from the start, I can see that the protagonist Gallen is interacting with, and is affected by, the world around him.

I find the writing style a little awkward at times. For example, the sentence "He was 48 and not getting any younger, years of service in the Blades had prevented him from having a family, and his wife and two year old daughter were dead!" The reader is left puzzled at first, about how Gallen could have a wife and daughter if he was prevented from having a family due to his service in the Blades. A quick re-read leads to the assumption that Gallen is no longer a member of the Blades, and has since then settled down and started a family. In the next sentence, however, Gallen dons his Blades helmet, and later still he is waving around his Akaviri Katana, as used by the Blades. Does this mean he is still in active service as a Blade, or not? I don't know the age of the author, but I'm wondering if Gallen's stated age, 48, means that he is considered to be too old to be a Blade now. I'm an "oldie" myself, and I wouldn't consider 48 to be too old to fight as a Blade. Or is it more lore-related than I'm thinking of? Perhaps this story is set in post-4E 175 times, when the Blades had been disbanded. There is nothing to indicate this in the story.

The interaction of Gallen with the wider world of Elder Scrolls lore is again evidenced in his brief prayer to Stendarr. I really like this. It is something I will definitely be doing in my own fan-fic writing, even though my characters will mostly be Breton, and they are not overly religious.

The battle scene is described very well. It is brief and to the point, yet gives the reader a glimpse beyond the lame hackfest that is inherent with computer video games, and into the thoughts and feelings of the character as the "kill or be killed" instincts kick in. It is also nice to see a lead character who is not all-powerful and invincible, as much of the Tolkien-based fan-fic I've read in the past was prone to. It is just not realistic for someone to go into a fight like the one Gallen did here, at three to one odds, and come out with hardly a scratch. The crack on the head with a well placed war hammer was a nice touch. I would think that wielding a hammer in battle would be a precarious thing — either they would do massive damage, as happened in this tale, or they would go terribly wrong. A miss, even a near miss, could prove fatal to the attacker, as raising a heavy hammer for a second attempt would give the defender time to parry and lunge before the hammer swing reaches its zenith again, and by then the hammer wielder would be dead.

The interplay between Gallen and Jean-Pierre is interesting, but I personally think Gallen surrendered too soon, at a polite request from his captor. If I'd been in that position myself, I'd have been looking for a way out of the cell, probably provoking Jean-Pierre to unlock the cell and deal with me man-to-man. At least then I'd have a chance of escape, no matter how slim, it is better than sitting there having an ale with my sworn enemy. But then, if Gallen had done that, the important dialogue of the story may not have come out.

“Please, Jean-Pierre. Continue,” just sounds like a couple of old mates having a chat over a pint. But then, this was after he had consumed a bottle of Tamika wine. He was probably still suffering from a concussion, too.

Now we get to the vampires again. I am so glad that Gallen refused the offer to become a vampire himself. As I read through the rest of this tale, I do hope that Gallen avoids contracting Sanguinare Vampiris or any of its variants.

Part Two: Crimson-Tail

I read this through and found no mention of Gallen or Jean-Pierre in it, but it is clearly the same story from a different perspective. I like that, as it brings a whole new depth to the storyline. I haven't peeked at the following chapters yet, but I presume that this Crimson-Tail was the one who killed Gallen's family, and not the vampires in the coven that Gallen sought revenge on in the previous chapter. The link to the previous chapter may have been stronger if one of the guards had recognized the female Redguard victim lying on the road, and mentioned her name. But I suppose the author left this detail to the reader's own imagination, to fill in the blanks and come to their own conclusion. Sometimes it is important to give the reader leeway to form their own opinions, as seems to have been done here. It is a skill that I must learn in my own writing, as I tend to tell a story how I think it should be, and give graphic detail. Sometimes absence of detail is just as important for the reader to connect with the story.

There are a lot of present-tense verbs used in this chapter, and many paragraphs begin with a verb clause action, such as "Turning, Crimson walked further down the road...", and "Jumping out of his hiding place...", and "Turning to the woman..." I like verb clauses. They are a great way for the character to interact with the fictional world, and to me, that is what writing fan fiction is all about. However, beginning so many paragraphs the same way is something I would want to avoid in my own writing, as it can be repetitive.

I loved the "in-joke" at the end of this chapter. I used to play Skyrim a lot, but then I took an arrow in the knee. Haha! Cliché very? Sure, but it was appropriately used. Probably something I would steer clear of in my own writing, as it has been done to death. I want my writing to be about the lore of the Elder Scrolls world, not about the games of the Elder Scrolls series. As the author of this piece says on his userpage, "I promise all my stories are unique pieces and don't follow the games proper." I want to try to avoid writing about anything that is in the ES games simply by reason of the game mechanics. Scripted dialogue, for instance, is not something I will be quoting in my fan-fic writing. In my writing, I'm trying to bring Tamriel alive to my reader, not to bring the ES games alive, but Tamriel itself. Compare this to the oft-used blessing "Divines preserve you." I wouldn't consider that to be just scripted dialogue. It is something that anybody in Tamriel is likely to say. That said, the "arrow in the knee" joke in this chapter was not a direct quote, as such. It was an allegory. I will probably use allegories quite a lot in my writing. While I may not be writing about the events of a particular game, I may occasionally allude to something that happens in a questline, if it might impact on my fan-fic characters.

This is really helping me to crystallize my thoughts about how I will approach my own fan-fic writing, by "standing on the shoulders of Giants".

Part Three: Into the Vampire's Lair

The fight scene in this part of the story got me to thinking about how I am going to describe fight scenes in my own fan fiction writing. I have very little personal experience with martial arts, having done a self defense course as part of my work training. Beyond that I don't know much about fighting, other than what I do in computer games. I am going to need to research fighting techniques for the various weapons that might be mentioned in my fan-fic, so that I can more accurately describe the action. I do like the "feigning defeat" part of the fight scene in this story. Oh, and the "honour among thieves" connotation of Jean-Pierre claiming the high moral ground over the death of a baby, was amusing. Although, I guess that is just my bias against vampires speaking again.

I really liked the way the author described magic at the end, and Crimson's wariness of it. Magic users are worthy of being feared in combat, especially if you don't know the extent of their powers. While summoning a fireball, something obvious and visible, they could simultaneously be casting something sinister from the Illusion School, or summoning an atronach behind you! I mostly play Mage type characters in the games, so I really want to bring out this whole "don't underestimate the unpredictable dangers of magic" concept in my fan-fic writing. This also applies to the caster, not just to the intended victim, of such magic. "Practice makes perfect", so they say, and it is easy to see that Jean-Pierre in this story has had plenty of practice with his fireball spell. But J'zargo's Experiment serves as a reminder of what can go wrong when the inexperienced play with magic.

Part Four: Oiolatta

The reminiscing scene at the start of this chapter is brilliant! I can just imagine such a scene of my lead character remembering his grandfather in Bruma. Daric will have plenty of time, while sitting in his small room in the College of Winterhold, to reminisce on time spent with his grandfather Andoryan, whom he was very close to.

Something else I really liked in this chapter was the way the author turned game items, such as "potions of health and stamina, scrolls of various restoration spells", into everyday items in Tamriel. I mean, why wouldn't Jean-Pierre have such items tucked away somewhere? For my own writing, I'd also like to consider the effect of time on such items. Does a magic potion have a "use by" date? Also, there wouldn't be any plastic in Tamriel, so vials and bottles would be fairly fragile. Carrying them around with you, particular during a battle, could cause them to get damaged. This isn't something we ever need to worry about in the games, but if I'm going for realism in my own fan fiction tale, it is something that I should consider.

Part Five: Stories

Before I had even finished reading this chapter through the first time, I just had to make this comment. I really loved how the author has drifted away from TES game lore, as in, the mechanics of the game, to describe the use of magic to unlock a door.

"...his hands turned a brilliant orange as conjured fire burned the wood around the metal lock, enabling him to kick the gate open and walk in."

That is not exactly the description of any Open spell that I have ever seen. But then, they dropped that spell in Skyrim. It is good to see the author here thinking outside the box, and applying common magic principles in ways that it couldn't be done in the game. Don't let game mechanics stifle your creativity. That was brilliant! The use of an Illusion spell to calm the horses down was also a piece of inspired work.

Gallen's mentioning of a teleportation spell got me to thinking. We have seen magical transportation at work in the Elder Scrolls world in the past, such as the portals used in the Arch-Mage's Tower of the Arcane University, and those added by the Wizard's Tower official plug-in. However, there doesn't seem to be a lot of lore available to describe how they work. There are also "teleportation portals", if you will, to the planes of Oblivion, such as Mehrunes Dagon's plane, Sheogorath's plane, and the voidgate of the Battlespire, which used to teleport people to the Soul Cairn. I wonder if these are some how related to the portals in the Arcane University?User-Daric Gaersmith-Idea 32x32.png

References

Note: The following references are considered to be unofficial sources. They are included to round off this article and may not be authoritative or conclusive.

  1. ^ See also the Less Werewolf Plz mod, available from the Steam Workshop