User:Puddle/Guide to the Shivering Isles

By Puddle

This is the Official Guide to the Shivering Isles, the greatest place to live. Penned to give you adescription of each town in the Isles. Never go without it! Even better, It is in the form of Limericks.

Lets start 'with' Passwall

Where brains were small

When it came to wit

They had none of it

Staying here is a bad call

Wow, the Gates of 'Madness'

The bones give me sadness

The Gatekeeper of hell

So many people fell

The Gatekeeper lost his badness

Next 'I' ventured to Split

Did their heads suffer a hit?

A town ripped apart

They were odd from the start

The place smelled like an armpit.

Next, to the town of Hale

Where brains 'can' prevail,

A town of artists

A place I will miss

Ah, wait, was that Redguard a male?

(there appears to be some spit here)

Ugh, Now on to Highcross

A town made out of moss,

They left their houses 'unlock'ed

While they were well stocked

Well, it is their loss.

Ooh, We've finally reached Bliss!

'The' 'walls' I started 'to' kiss!

Might I be going insane?

Am I losing my brain?

I should think about who I kiss...

Now in ugly Crucible,

'A' town that smells like a bull

A 'man' "fell" off a wall

It was so very tall

The incident was laughable

I loved to visit the Palace

'I' saw a Golden Chalice

It belonged to the Manics 'once' before

Hm, It doesn't anymore!

I took it out of malice.

The Museum Of Oddities is ahead

The guards track where I tread.

I think I will be okay

I'll give her the Chalice today

The guards were 'called' instead.

I was deported to Deepwallow

Where the citizens are shallow,

This is such an ugly place

It has no good taste

My dagger made the blood flow.

Now I'm 'in' depressing Fellmoor

But, what's even more

The Khajiits there are enslaved!

Freedom is what they crave

Their slaver is no more!

Execution Point, the view is great!

I think being 'sane' can wait

What was that sound?

Was it a skinned hound?

Oh Sheogorath, you're late!

Signed; Pu-