User:Jimeee/Fiction/Civility and Etiquette Volume I: Sea Elves
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It may seem strange that I begin this series examining a savage people who utterly reject such enlightened social conventions as civility and etiquette. While we Altmer indeed share a shred of common ancestry with the Maormer of Pyandonea, the tragic fact is they could not have strayed further from the light of almighty Auri-El.
While our interactions with the Maormer are typically in battle, there are occasions where one may encounter these elves in a less hostile setting, such as diplomats or traders among the lesser races in far off lands. Its unsurprising that the lesser races assume we are close siblings, for their child-like ignorance knows no bounds. Be that as it may, it is our moral obligation to educate the illiterate through our words and actions when the opportunity arises.
Above all else - never attempt to gain favor or friendship with the Maormer, for they are as deceitful and cunning as the serpents they worship. They are not our equals. Instead, all interactions should be focused on asserting our superiority and sovereignty over them.
As a well-bred Altmer, you will know that the so-called revanchism of the Maormer is completely unfounded and should never be granted legitimacy. The Maormer have never held claim over the Isles of Summerset and, and gods willing, they never shall. As such, a first encounter with a Maormer of any standing should remind them of this fact. First praise the name Auri-El and then of our reigning monarch - in particular their lawful dominion over Summerset and the southern seas. Second, proudly exclaim your title, name, kinhouse and its holdings. If possible, wear the emblem of our people prominently so that they are forced to gaze upon it and remember their place.
Never deign to the increasingly popular custom of "shaking hands". This low-bred mannish ritual is not only unbefitting of an Altmer, but the Maormer are no doubt riddled with numerous diseases and afflictions that you will wish to avoid. If pressed, a single nod should be absolutely the most acknowledgement a Maormer deserves. Be aware of the unbearable reek of Abecean cuttlefish that permeates from their scales - there are few who can withstand the vile odor for long.
No doubt they will refer to their heretical leader at one point or another. If this occurs, never dignify Orgnum with the title of "King", for it grants their dissident nation legitimacy. Orgnum will suffice.
Maormer culture is uncivilized and their manner of breeding is truly deviant. If one encounters the less common "Scaled Elf" (a repugnant cross-breed between Maormer and Sea Serpent) remain particularly cautious. While these massive individuals are typically seen accompanying diplomats and officers as bodyguards, they should be regarded as nothing less than animals.
Perhaps the only Maormer who are of any import are their Sea Mages. These Maormer are keepers of powerful magicks that even our own Sapiarchs have regrettably been unable to decipher (yet). While they pale in comparison to Altmeri magecraft, one should act impressed by their skill and feign respect for their knowledge should the opportunity to privately converse with one of these mages present itself. The Maormer ego is such that they are easily flattered and this self-admiration can temporarily cloud their hatred and possibly lead to them revealing some of their well-kept magical secrets.
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