Tamriel Data:On the Matter of Taxes

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Book Information
On the Matter of Taxes
Added by Tamriel Data
ID T_Bk_LegendsAthalwyrmSHOTN_V1
Value 200 Weight 3
Skill Mercantile
On the Matter of Taxes

[Translator's Note: In the tongue of the ancient Nords there was no requirement for marking of plurals or separation of nouns and adjectives, therefore some conflations and confusions were possible which are not so in our modern language. These linguistic features seem to form the basis of many of the arguments attributed to Athalwyrm, so we have tried to render the ambiguities faithfully in translation.]

Athalwyrm the Clever-Man, before he became the Lawspeaker of Hrothgar, was an ordinary merchant selling weapons and tools. One year he bought a large number of glass axes from an elven smith in Morrowind and transported them in a caravan of wagons to Whiterun. Along the way, he was stopped by a tax collector of Eastmarch.

"The law," spoke the tax collector, "states that all transportation of axes, adzes, rakes and ploughs along the roads of Eastmarch incurs a tax upon each such item. How many of the aforesaid items are you transporting?"

"I don't have axes, adzes, rakes and ploughs," said Athalwyrm, "I only have glass axes."

"Don't joke," snapped the tax collector, "A glass axe is an axe, and an axe is subject to the tax."

"Not so," replied Athalwyrm, serenely, "An axe is an axe, and a glass axe is both glass and axe. If what I have are glass and axe, but not axe, adze, rake and plough, then how can I be taxed? One thing is added, and three are taken away."

The tax collector sighed. "I don't have time for this. How many axes do you have?"

Athalwyrm smiled helpfully at the man. "I don't just have axes, I have glass axes. How can I count the glass and the axe? When adding two such different items something will surely be missed. Then, even having reached a total, to remove the glass from the axe is impossible. Furthermore, when someone asks for an axe, he usually expects it to be made of iron or steel. When asked for an axe, to give an iron or steel axe is perfectly acceptable. But when asked for a glass axe, to give an iron or steel axe is not acceptable. When asked for a glass axe, to give a glass axe is the only acceptable response. So to ask for an axe is not the same as to ask for a glass axe. If you ask me about glass axes, of course I will tell you what you need to know."

"Fine, fine, whatever," said the tax collector in exasperation, "How many glass axes do you have?"

"I never heard any law about glass axes in Eastmarch," replied Athalwyrm with finality, "only a law about axes, adzes, rakes and ploughs. If the law does not name my goods as subject to tax, then I will not pay."

[The end of this dialogue has not survived.]