Beyond Skyrim:Cyrodiil/Flame Juggling and Other Parlor Tricks
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| Added by | Beyond Skyrim: Cyrodiil | ||
| ID | xx08B53B | ||
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| Type | 1 | ||
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Please Note:
By purchasing and reading this text, you hereby acknowledge that I, Gauforte the Gaudy, have delivered this phenomenal text and all the requisite knowledge herein ("the text"), and, thus, you lose any moral or legal right to a refund.
Dear reader, have you ever wanted to juggle hundreds of balls at a time? To play the flute with only one hand? To draw the crowds with card tricks? Or to juggle flame itself? If so, you are reading the correct book.
In this treatise I will analyze, dissect and explain each individual parlor trick that has been popularized by I, the amazing Gauforte the Gaudy, in a simple and easy-to-follow manner.
Without further ado:
This is a simple matter of dexterity, I am afraid. If you are not dexterous enough or lack the requisite wit, I am afraid no amount of training will help you.
This is, of course, one of my very special talents. You can never hope to emulate this particular trick of Gauforte the Gaudy's, and, therefore, to explain would simply be a waste of both our time.
These are so simple, even a knuckle-dragging imgakin should be able to perform them. If you are unable to, I would suggest you ask a priest to give your head a good examination. You may have a case of Brain Rot. Alternatively, I would suggest that you may simply be thicker than two short planks.
Be a mage. Alternatively, lather your hands in kindlepitch and light it on fire with some sort of wooden plinth. But I wouldn't recommend that method. Too messy, and often leaves you with a particularly sub-optimal limb in the aftermath. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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