Online:Mairead's Diary

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Mairead's Diary

by Mairead

Entries from Mairead's Diary

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Entry 3

[In messy, childish handwriting, faded with time]

The lady visited again. I don't like her. She's mean! Well, not mean. But she's very stern. I don't think she ever smiles. All she does is talk about my duty and my responsibility. I drew her a picture and I don't think she even liked it.

I never see any other children. Do all children live in places like this? Do they have mothers who are kind and loving, like I read about in books? Fathers who are brave and strong? The lady who visits seems too cold to have children. I wonder why she comes to see me. I don't think she even likes me. All she does is tell me what to do!

I tried to hug her, but she pushed me away.

Entry 346

None of this feels familiar. I didn't expect it to, of course. They moved me from the only home I've ever known without even telling me why. Familiarity is a luxury I don't have. But still, I expected to at least feel comfortable here. Mine is the only company I've ever kept. I thought it would be enough. But everything here resists me. The bed is too firm, I keep tripping on the grooves in the floor, and all the walls feel like they're closing in.

The woman doesn't come to visit anymore. I don't know if I miss her, or if I miss the sensation of stability she provided. I don't miss Emperor Leovic having to accompany her, of course. I always hated his eyes. Even as a child, they haunted my dreams.

Now? I almost miss them. As haunting and pervading as his gaze was, at least it was expected. Familiar.

I hear whispers in this new place. I'm fourteen years old and too mature to think that anything here could really hurt me. Isn't that the entire point of staying here? Locked away in a cage so that nothing gets in and nothing gets out? But even still, sometimes I wake in the night with my heart pounding out of my chest. It's as if I've woken from a nightmare but can't remember what was so terrifying. Maybe it's just this place.

Or maybe it's me.

Entry 712

My hands are still shaking. I can hardly write, but I need to get this down. I need it out of my head. If I don't write it down, how will I know it really happened? How could I convince myself it wasn't just a nightmare?

It all happened so quickly. Horrible, twisted-looking men tried to take me. They wouldn't say why, though a few screamed a name I didn't recognize. Valkynaz Nokvroz.

I almost couldn't believe my eyes. They came in such force! This vault has never held so many living things at once. It felt as though the walls were trembling with sheer indignation at the noise and the strangeness of it all. Blood rushed in my ears. The twisted forces that invaded my home grabbed at my arms until I bruised. I lashed out, kicked wildly, I screamed, though I knew how futile that was, even then. There would be no one to hear me. How many times have I screamed in this place, knowing the echo was the only answer I'd receive?

But just when I thought they had me, something inside me broke free. It cracked like a whip inside my chest and tore out of me. I can't remember if I felt pain or felt nothing at all. The sensation overwhelmed me entirely. I wanted to scream but there was no air left in my lungs. For a moment, all I saw was light. The brightness washed out everything, it flooded every corner, chased every shadow. And then, nothing.

When I woke, bodies littered the floor. The others were gone. Once again, I was alone. I don't know what's happening, but I feel like something is about to change. Forever.