The UESPWiki – Your source for The Elder Scrolls since 1995
Jump to: navigation, search

Why is it that being polite is so scarce in net communications?


"I dragged that Benirus twerp back to the manor and made him unlock the wall thing. My home brew paralyze drain spell got rid of the ghosts easy enough. Then there was the evil villan rant and out popped grandpa? Or maybe great great great... I didn't pay attention. I blasted him with every spell I could think of while a zombie tried to eat my face. I finally dug up a turn undead spell. I did in the zombie and grandpa went wandering off. 5 arrows from the Udder Fright whatsit's bow in his arse finished him off. Reporting back to the twerp he gave me the happy dance and hoped I will enjoy many years in ghost central. I should have put an arrow in his arse too."

"I object! I can take 50 points damage jumping down a flight of stairs in some houses, then leap off a 50 foot clif and at the last moment turn in mid air and pile face first into the side of a rock and avoid damage!"

"Oh that is so uncool! I was out picking flowers and someone shot me in the butt!"

"Oh great! Let me do that dungeon!"
"It's my turn. You do it, you have to play naked."
"Me or the character?"
"Wow! Look at that moon!"
"Did you mean to jump off that cliff? I guess I know which moon you meant."

"What potion do you use when she's on fire?"

"How can he keep hitting me with an arrow sticking out of his head?"
"He keeps nodding?"

"How can I tell if I just jumped off a high cliff with a tree in my way!"
"The reload game window didn't clue you?"

"I've zapped him like... a dozen times and he keeps chasing me!"
"So like how much damage do you think you're going to do to him with a Cure Disease spell?"
"Why do you have a cure disease on someone else spell?"
"She doesn't like condoms?"

"That metal spiky thing just glomped me again!"
"I think the guy who designed these dungeons used the game as a reference when he applied for Human Resource Manager at Wall Mart."

"I don't think we can get in there. We only have about 80 lock picks left."

"Why is it twitching like that?"
"I think we can rule out orgasm."
"You're GROSS!"
"Hey! You shot it you know where!"

"HA HA!"
"WOW! That was dramatic. You now hold the all time Oblivion record for blasting a flaming Glarthir off of Dive Rock. When you hold a grudge, you don't mess around!"
"Hey! I played it straight with him and the little perv went and punched me in the boobs."
"One of us is stone crazy."