User:Rpeh/The Lighter Side of Tamriel

By rpeh

There was an old man from Bravil

Who was feeling most terribly ill

Since a medical fake

Had made the mistake

Of prescribing a Stinkhorn Cap pill.

I once knew a male Khajiit

Whose fur was incredibly neat.

I asked him his means

And was granted the scene

Of him cleaning his back with his feet.

They say that the ladies of Split

Are all quite incredibly fit.

But unless they're a quitter,

The men must be fitter

And have a great liking for... it.

There once was a man from Ald'ruhn.

It was said he could play any tune.

But an Orcish request

Proved too much of a test:

I doubt we'll be seeing him soon.

There once was a mighty young Nord,

Who ended up terribly gored.

He lost most his face

When he made the mistake

Of flossing his teeth with his sword.

The God that they call Dagoth Ur

Was naught but a cowardly cur.

The Nerevarine

Appeared on the scene

And chopped off his head in a blur.

The Altmer of Summerset Isle

Are famed for their wit and their guile.

But the rest of the races

Feel like punching their faces

And seeing them covered in bile.

The once was a young Breton lass

Who suffered from terrible gas.

While playing a game

She lit up a flame

And flew to High Rock with a flash.