Lore:A Less Rude Song

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A Less Rude Song
by Anonymous
A standard bawdy ballad

They say

The Iliac Bay

Is the place to barrel around

Without a bit of apparel on,

As advertised in that carol song

A tune that's sung as the west wind blows

About it lovely not wearing any clothes.

Ladies singing high notes, men singing lows,

Implying that the most luscious depravity

And complete absence of serious gravity

Can only be found in the waterous cavity

Of Iliac Bay.


If you are the type who is more a sinner than a sinned,

You'll find it all in Morrowind.


But the truth, my child,

Is that nothing more wild

That [sic] an ordinary fashion

Kind of slightly mad passion

Can be detected if at all

In Sentinel and Daggerfall.


Whatever your odd needs: feathered, scaled, or finned,

You'll find it all in Morrowind


It's an invention of bards

That Bretons and Redguards

Have more than some staid fun

And suffer deviant fornication.

For the most of madness, not the least,

The wise debaucher heads out east.


Where your once steely reserve is now merely tinned,

You'll find it all in Morrowind.


In Morrowind,

There is sin.


But, pray, do not confuse Dunmer variety

With that found in tepid Western society

Compared to which, it nearly is piety.

It isn't terribly ingenious calling it prudery

Observing the Dark Elf aversion to nudity.

After all, the preferred sort of lewdity

In these parts is far more pernicious.

From the Ashlanders to the wettest fishes

You'll find pleasure and pain quite delicious

In Morrowind.


If you find yourself with unkind kinship with your kin

You'll find it all in Morrowind.